Review: The Expendables 2
"I'm back." Yes you are, Arnie. Oh, I get it! Because you said that you will be back in Terminator! Aha, that's funny. Okay, let's move on.
"Yippee-kai-ey." Oh, hello Bruce Willis. I remember you saying that in Die Hard. Wow, isn't that great? I wonder if the actual Expendables 2 movie itself will have any memorable quotes of its own without relying on the cast's previous films? Oh. Okay.
For that is exactly the problem here. The movie is really just an excuse to pull together this huge ensemble 'action-hero' cast just for the sake of it. The plot is silly, the action is way over the top and unbelievable and the script is really a compilation of nods to the stars' previous roles in their action classics.
And yet...I loved it.
Two years ago, we were introduced to a group called "The Expendables," a ragtag band of freebooting soldiers who enjoy blowing stuff up and killing people. They're good guys though, honest. This time, Church (Bruce Willis) has a job for them, claiming that Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) owes him for the destruction caused during their previous mission. Things don't go according to plan, however, and one of their own is killed by rival mercenary Jean Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme). Vowing to take revenge for their fallen comrade (severely reducing the population of Nepal in the process), Ross rallies his Expendables team together including the likes of Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Terry Crews and new recruit Liam Hemsworth, a soon-to-be-married sniper who may as well have a gigantic target on his back. Their quest for vengeance uncovers a more sinister plot at work, thursting them into the firing line. Arnold Schwarzenneger also provides assistance in the second act (almost like a care package), whilst Chuck Norris, the star of the most famous internet meme of all time has the most victorious cameo known to film.
Okay, so it's not an Oscar-winning script and the story is hardly going to jerk any tears or wide-eyed confusion from audiences. There's cheese everywhere; the dialogue is just littered with margherita. Yet there's something childlike and cheeky about the way the film presents itself: it knows it's a little bit of a farce. It doesn't try to take itself too seriously, instead acting more like a shoot-em-up game featuring all your favourite larger than life characters. The absurdity is off the scale - it's hard to believe that 3 blokes standing still shooting at hundreds of armed foes can walk away unscathed.
That's all part of the fun though - this is nostalgia at its best (short
of dusting off your SNES and playing Super Mario Bros. 3). Those old punch ups and shootouts at the peaks of those action packed 80s films are given a true tribute here, particularly in the nailbiting hero vs. villain climax of the movie. The long awaited battle between Stallone and Van-Damme is brilliantly choreographed and the stars clearly still love what they do. Watching Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenneger bounce off each other, and Stallone, is worth the ticket price alone, even if Stallone is still more incomprehensible than a drunk version of Bane from The Dark Knight Rises.
The fire-fest must also be praised for its refusal to over-use CGI, instead favouring the more respectable route of filming real stunts and pyrotechnics - and yes, there are many. Even in the opening moments it is clear that dull moments are going to be few, apart from some unnecessary scenes involving Stallone and his sudden love interest Maggie, as the gang skids into action on what appears to be an urgent mission (no spoilers here!). "I now pronounce you...man and knife," grins Jason Statham, whipping out his weapons in the first act and dishing out some punishment. That's punny, Jason. "Rest in pieces," mumbles Stallone after the team shoots one bad guy into smithereens. Oh, the puns!
"Yippee-kai-ey." Oh, hello Bruce Willis. I remember you saying that in Die Hard. Wow, isn't that great? I wonder if the actual Expendables 2 movie itself will have any memorable quotes of its own without relying on the cast's previous films? Oh. Okay.
For that is exactly the problem here. The movie is really just an excuse to pull together this huge ensemble 'action-hero' cast just for the sake of it. The plot is silly, the action is way over the top and unbelievable and the script is really a compilation of nods to the stars' previous roles in their action classics.
And yet...I loved it.
Two years ago, we were introduced to a group called "The Expendables," a ragtag band of freebooting soldiers who enjoy blowing stuff up and killing people. They're good guys though, honest. This time, Church (Bruce Willis) has a job for them, claiming that Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) owes him for the destruction caused during their previous mission. Things don't go according to plan, however, and one of their own is killed by rival mercenary Jean Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme). Vowing to take revenge for their fallen comrade (severely reducing the population of Nepal in the process), Ross rallies his Expendables team together including the likes of Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Terry Crews and new recruit Liam Hemsworth, a soon-to-be-married sniper who may as well have a gigantic target on his back. Their quest for vengeance uncovers a more sinister plot at work, thursting them into the firing line. Arnold Schwarzenneger also provides assistance in the second act (almost like a care package), whilst Chuck Norris, the star of the most famous internet meme of all time has the most victorious cameo known to film.
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| "I'm Chuck Norris and I approve this review." ...is what I'm sure he'd say...I hope. |
Okay, so it's not an Oscar-winning script and the story is hardly going to jerk any tears or wide-eyed confusion from audiences. There's cheese everywhere; the dialogue is just littered with margherita. Yet there's something childlike and cheeky about the way the film presents itself: it knows it's a little bit of a farce. It doesn't try to take itself too seriously, instead acting more like a shoot-em-up game featuring all your favourite larger than life characters. The absurdity is off the scale - it's hard to believe that 3 blokes standing still shooting at hundreds of armed foes can walk away unscathed.
 |
| Van Damme stars as the appropriately named villain Jean 'Vilain' |
The fire-fest must also be praised for its refusal to over-use CGI, instead favouring the more respectable route of filming real stunts and pyrotechnics - and yes, there are many. Even in the opening moments it is clear that dull moments are going to be few, apart from some unnecessary scenes involving Stallone and his sudden love interest Maggie, as the gang skids into action on what appears to be an urgent mission (no spoilers here!). "I now pronounce you...man and knife," grins Jason Statham, whipping out his weapons in the first act and dishing out some punishment. That's punny, Jason. "Rest in pieces," mumbles Stallone after the team shoots one bad guy into smithereens. Oh, the puns!
Summary
Bigger, better, badass. The Expendables 2 knows what it has to offer and utilizes its best assets to give us nothing short of an action packed thrill ride from start to finish. Oscar-winning script it is not, and many of the jokes fall flat on their face, however the film keeps up its pace relatively well and the nostalgia level is at an all time high. Even though, as Willis says, most of the cast "belong in a museum", Stallone and crew have shown that they're not quite ready for their pension yet as the authentic explosions, action and stunts never fail to impress.
It's ridiculous, it's corny, it's hilariously self-depricating, it's loud and proud. At a time where superheroes have become darkly brooding and every new cinematic release is scrutinized to its core, The Expendables 2 proves that classic action movies full of escapism are not dead yet and that the cinema can still be a fun-filled hoot. Isn't that why we go in the first place?
8/10
See it if you liked: The Expendables (2010), Die Hard 4.0 (2007), Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (2011)
By Dean Johnstone
Solid review Dean. I had a great time watching The Expendables 2. It’s a bad movie but it’s so much fun to watch and it’s very easy to defend because everyone involved was in on the joke. And that’s all that mattered to me.
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