Review: Movie 43

Review: Movie 43

"What are all these A-Listers doing in one movie?" asks the trailer for ensemble comedy Movie 43. The answer: being forced to perform excruciatingly laugh-free acts of grotesque immaturity for the purposes of a quick buck, presumably against their will.

It's just so undeniably ridiculous that one has to wonder why on Earth these often fantastic (in some cases Oscar-winning) actors read this script and thought "Yes. This sounds like a great idea."

Who knows, but at the end of the day it's horrific to see the likes of Emma Stone, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Terrence Howard, Gerard Butler, Stephen Merchant and countless others reduced to performing the kind of stupid comedy that would usually be reserved for the likes of a Z-List cast of stereotypes in one of those awful Epic Movie rip offs.

The ridiculous plot involves a group of three badly acted kids searching online for the fabled "Movie 43." Their search into the deepest, darkest corners of the internet uncovers (for some reason) a slew of sketches from various directors and stars. 

It's a set up for a really decent joke - except there is no punchline. From the first video the group encounter (Kate Winslet on a date with Hugh Jackman, a man who is seemingly unaware that he has a pair of testicles dangling from his neck) all the way to the final scenario (Elizabeth Banks dating Josh Duhamel with the result that the latter's cat tries to murder his new girlfriend), the comedy fails to raise any laughs save for one or two very brief moments. There is almost no redemption for the amount of times eyes are rolled, sighs are let loose and awkward silences are emitted from the audience after the point where we were apparently supposed to laugh. 

It wouldn't even be that bad, but Movie 43 feels more like a glory seeking little kid crying out for attention - when it feels as though we aren't paying enough attention to its garbage, it throws in more disgusting rubbish to wake us up and groan (Anna Faris desperate for her boyfriend to poo on her, for example).

Most of the film seems lazy and badly edited, too; it's so easy to tell that the scenes were shot in less than two or three takes - perhaps because the cast were too humiliated to go on or because the directors were just so desperate to get out of their living hell. 

There is only one sketch which is worth watching, yet unfortunately it's no longer than your average YouTube hit. Featuring Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Patrick Warburton and Chloe-Grace Moretz, it portrays the amusing possibility of a teenage girl experiencing her first period at her boyfriend's house - panic and terrified confusion ensues. Still, a decent 5 minutes out of the total 94 isn't exactly anything to scream and shout about. 

Summary

If you enjoyed the trailer, the chances are you'll probably be able to chuckle a little at Movie 43. Otherwise, trust your gut and avoid this movie at all costs. Perhaps I need to lighten up, but there's honestly nothing here to appreciate and it's certainly not worth the money it'll cost you for the ticket. At least Emma Stone looks pretty hot as per.

Please, restore my faith in humanity and do not go and see Movie 43.

1/10 - Barely Made It Out Alive

See it if you liked: Epic Movie (2007), Superhero Movie (2008), A Haunted House (2013)